February 4th is World Cancer Day. Everything seems to have a day and cancer day is definitely not one to celebrate but here it is. Cancer is the second leading cause of death globally accounting for about 1 in 6 deaths in the world(according to the World Health Organization). World Cancer Day is a day to raise awareness and encourage prevention. For the patients and caregivers, it's a day to unite and empower (well, that's what I think). In 2013 after already battling cancer 3 times in previous years I had a cancer scare once again. I wrote a letter back then that I read recently that gave me the feels. In light of the fact that 5 years later I do have cancer again and that it's World Cancer Day, I am re-publishing this letter. Here goes...
I want to break up. It's not me, it's you. You keep wanting to get back together and for whatever reason, my body lets you. Well I'm done, I'm sick of all the game playing and I'm sick of you messing with my mind. I wish I could say that my relationship with you has made me stronger, braver, more courageous, but I just don't know anymore. Now that you're trying to get back together only bad feelings come up. You have made me more insecure about myself, you've made me sad, and I have shed too many tears because of you. You not only affect me, you have widespread effects on people I love and care about. They don't even know what to say anymore; you leave a train of destruction and pain. It may surprise you but I love my life, and yes, thank you for opening my eyes and my heart constantly to the blessings around me. Are you trying to teach me something? Is there a lesson to learn? Well I got it, I'm good, so please stop showing up. Don't underestimate me, I am not going down.
So here we are at another crossroads. Will you ever leave me alone? Hate is a strong word that I never use, but I'm beginning to hate you. You have broken my heart over and over, but I will not let you break my spirit.