My cancer has been stable for exactly two years. In fact, it was the week after the 4th of July when I found out I had metastatic cancer. Since my official diagnosis I have not been on any type of medical therapy, no chemo, no radiation, etc. I have been on 'watch and wait.' Meaning, every few months I have CT scans to measure the tumors and see if they've grown and/or multiplied; we watch, then we wait for the next scan. The reason is simple, for my type of cancer there is no cure, and the one chemo drug that is 'standard of care' just buys more time. The alternative to watch and wait is basically my cancer growing at a fast pace and spreading so...stable, watching, and waiting is great.
I listened to a podcast this week in which Kris Carr, the author of Crazy, Sexy, Cancer Tips was the guest. She said a lot of things that resonated with me since she herself lives with Stage 4 cancer (stable for over 10 years) but the phrase that stuck out to me was instead of 'watch and wait' her doctor told her to think of it as 'watch and live.' Waiting is fear based-wait for the cancer to grow, wait for it to progress, wait for the ball to drop, etc. while living-well, self explanatory. Living means taking in life, loving yourself, loving those around you, moving forward while soaking in all the magical moments. It's healthy to have fear but to live watching and waiting for the inevitable is not truly living. Watch and live, I love it.
'You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land, there is no other life but this,' Henry David Thoreau